I knew this was going to be hard. But nights like last night draw the challenge into sharp focus. Last night on a long late night conference call after I put my babies to bed, I found out that one of my main client that pays the bills and therefore funds the start up was potentially going under. All my forward work for the next 6 months vanished. Still I managed to fall asleep because I was dead tired but when my second baby awoke at 3:30 for a feed I couldn’t get back to sleep. I haven’t been back to sleep since. I’m now on a long commute into London for my first morning meeting. Not one that could get me any work or any funding in the foreseeable future but one needs to play the long and short game with a startup.
It’s not just the struggle to sleep in this game . It’s the psychological struggle that comes with running a start up when all the money has run out and you’ve no idea how you’ll pay the mortgage next month. It’s also the struggle of selling something that you created. it’s an algorithm of your brain and for me it’s the challenge of trying to sell ‘that’ when it feels like merciless boasting and when all I can see is what I’d like to improve.
I’m not a perfectionist. If you saw my kitchen you’d know that for sure. I’m a geek. An entrepreneurial geek. But I also happen to be a woman which may or may not throw up additional challenges. I’ve not made up my mind on that yet.
The Eternal Juggle 